EPISODE 4: SEA CRITTERS

*Full disclosure, I'm writing this post about two months after we actually went to Sea Critters.  Also, I puked that day.  So some details may be a bit hazy.*

Other than "Crabby Bill's", Sea Critters might be my favorite restaurant name ever.  I mean, if you went there on a blind date, you could so easily get the conversation going by asking your new friend, "If you were a sea critter, what would you be, and why?"  So even though Kathy and I were not on a date, I asked her that very question!  At first she said, "A crab, because I like to eat them."  Well, I rejected that answer and therefore she revised it to a mermaid, which I thought was much more fitting.   My answer was, a seahorse.  The sea critter version of Kathy has beautiful hair, a siren's voice, and seduces men with her very presence.  I float around latching myself onto the nearest seaweed stalk.  But I'm cute and people like me.

Sea Critters offers outside dining, so we opted to drag Elvis the Chihuahua along on the adventure.  I think he was the only reason our waiter was being civil to us.  He seemed not to enjoy people very much, but he catered to the needs of our pint-sized furry friend... and hopefully didn't spit in our food. 

The margarita menu included the "house margarita" and the "supreme margarita" (honestly, I don't remember if that's correct.  The point is, it had more stuff in it than the house margarita).  Kathy took the "start slow" approach and ordered the house margarita, and I took the "life is short" approach and ordered the supreme version.

We got our drinks and down our throats they went.  It was hot! And we were thirsty after our long walk from my house down Pass A Grille Way.  Our ever-so-grouchy waiter made sure we knew that the house margarita and the supreme margarita had the same level of alcohol in them, which obviously was total bs because I was drunk halfway down the glass, and Kathy was complaining there was no alcohol in her version.

Of course we couldn't leave Kathy hanging like that, so we ordered another round and she changed her order to the Supreme.  Unwisely, I stuck to my guns and broke my long-established rule, which is: ONE MARGARITA IS ENOUGH.  Yes people, I am writing a blog about margaritas, but can only handle one at a time.  I learned this the hard way.  But apparently, I was so drunk that I unlearned my hard-won knowledge and halfway through my second marg, I was basically cross-eyed.  Kathy, who can outdrink me any day anyway, remarked, "Oh my god this is so much stronger than the other one!"

The rest of the day is basically a haze.  Somehow, Elvis and I made it back home and onto the couch.  I passed out, and then woke up and puked.  Kathy went out and played darts. 

The moral of the story is multi-layered.  First and foremost, don't order the supreme margarita at Sea Critters unless you've got a liver of steel.  Secondly...well yeah that's pretty much it.

Sea Critters, I give you FOUR LIMES.  

Why four, you ask, when the margaritas pack such a punch?  Well, there is such a thing as making your drinks too strong.  For the love of God.  But, otherwise, from what I remember about the whole day, the food was decent, the ambience was nice, and although the waiter was kind of a turd, I sort of liked him.  You won't find me going back there any time soon however.  I'm traumatized.